Friday, August 25, 2006
Mr Blog...
Meet Mr. Blog...babaguhin ko na po yung set up ko sa blog ko. I want to keep my posts personal...at the same time pampubliko. Gusto ko kasi ma-express yung mga saloobin ko ng husto. Get what I mean? Fire Away...
Dear Mr. Blog,
I've been suffering (wierd) feelings since last week. I find it really hard to interpret whatever was on my mind.
I won't attend the "Millitary Ball", that's tonite. I just don't feel like it. I'm bored and I'm so...not into having fun right now. And I wanna talk to my friends.
I wanna stop hurting people. Sometimes I just wanna runaway from my feelings. I want to seek the inner me (God, ang drama ko ngayon). Marami kasing bagay na gusto kong sabihin, pero di ko pwedeng sabihin. Because I might hurt. Now, I don't wanna do that.
I'm rebuilding myself, I have to. Maybe, all teens get through situations like this. When life really gets confusing. Loving the wrong person, getting along with people I never ever hung out with, confused between studies and sports, low self-esteem..etc.
Mr. Blog, I feel...parang nasa preso. Di ako makalabas. Kasi minsan di ko maamin sa sarili ko yun g tunay kong nararamdaman. It hurts inside. Di ako makahinga. Para na akong iiyak. I wanted to break free and I want to discover myself na...but can't rush it I know.
Trapped like a mouse on a deadend. That's how I can describe myself right now. O, did I say that I'm so crushed? I'm sixteen, about to turn seventeen this coming sept 4. I want to do something different. That's why I had to come up with this list:
1. Gusto ko, tatawagin na akong "ate" ng mga bunso sa team namin.
2. Gusto ko nang yumaman--that means, I have to save save save.
3. Gusto ko nang tumigil sa taekwondo--dahil naaapektuhan na yung grades ko.
4. Gusto ko nang magka-bf, dahil ang lungkot kapag wala di ba?
5. Gusto ko nang maging mature--kahit di sa lahat ng bagay...pwede na rin.
6. Gusto kong maging mas totoo pa ako sa sarili ko--no pretentions.
7. Gusto kong sundin ang quote na ito: "think first before you act".
8. Gusto kong bayaran lahat ng mga utang ko--financial man o hindi...it's payback time.
9. Gusto ko nang makipagpeace sa world--para wala nang mabigat sa loob mo di ba?
10. Gusto kong mas maging mapagkumbaba sa kapwa--whether it's not being jealous or being contented with what I have...kasama na din yun don.
11. Gusto kong makipag-date kay God palagi. Miss ko na kasi Siyang ka-bonding.
12. Gusto ko nang iwan ang masasamang gawi ko. Kaso I have to enumerate pa e...
13. Gusto kong maging mas considerate sa ibang bloggers. Yung iba, me time para sa bloghops kahit hectic, tapos ako...ayoko nang sabihin--sisisihin ko nananaman sarili ko niyan e.
14. Gusto kong maging less vocal kapag grades and school ang pag-uusapan. Mas mabuti nang manahimik sa nakuhang uno para walang gulo--oops.
15. Gusto kong makabonding ang mga pinsan ko. I live within their bounderies tapos di ko kayang makisama--sama ko talaga.
16. Gusto kong manahimik na lang kapag inaaway (or pinagsasabihan rather) ako ng parents ko.
17. Gusto kong i-declutter ang marumi kong cabinet--closet ko kasi, parang di taga-21st century yung may ari e. Parang kapanahunan pa ni Da Vinci. Biro lang siyempre (ang exagge ko naman).
18. Gusto kong mag-express, rather than impress...mapapahiya lang ako kapag nagpa-impress kasi ako e.
Yan...nabuo ko na. Now all I have to do, is just follow the list...and get a good life ahead of me. It's really hard being a teenager. Everybody knows that. Pray lang ako for guidance.
Dear Mr. Blog,
I've been suffering (wierd) feelings since last week. I find it really hard to interpret whatever was on my mind.
I won't attend the "Millitary Ball", that's tonite. I just don't feel like it. I'm bored and I'm so...not into having fun right now. And I wanna talk to my friends.
I wanna stop hurting people. Sometimes I just wanna runaway from my feelings. I want to seek the inner me (God, ang drama ko ngayon). Marami kasing bagay na gusto kong sabihin, pero di ko pwedeng sabihin. Because I might hurt. Now, I don't wanna do that.
I'm rebuilding myself, I have to. Maybe, all teens get through situations like this. When life really gets confusing. Loving the wrong person, getting along with people I never ever hung out with, confused between studies and sports, low self-esteem..etc.
Mr. Blog, I feel...parang nasa preso. Di ako makalabas. Kasi minsan di ko maamin sa sarili ko yun g tunay kong nararamdaman. It hurts inside. Di ako makahinga. Para na akong iiyak. I wanted to break free and I want to discover myself na...but can't rush it I know.
Trapped like a mouse on a deadend. That's how I can describe myself right now. O, did I say that I'm so crushed? I'm sixteen, about to turn seventeen this coming sept 4. I want to do something different. That's why I had to come up with this list:
1. Gusto ko, tatawagin na akong "ate" ng mga bunso sa team namin.
2. Gusto ko nang yumaman--that means, I have to save save save.
3. Gusto ko nang tumigil sa taekwondo--dahil naaapektuhan na yung grades ko.
4. Gusto ko nang magka-bf, dahil ang lungkot kapag wala di ba?
5. Gusto ko nang maging mature--kahit di sa lahat ng bagay...pwede na rin.
6. Gusto kong maging mas totoo pa ako sa sarili ko--no pretentions.
7. Gusto kong sundin ang quote na ito: "think first before you act".
8. Gusto kong bayaran lahat ng mga utang ko--financial man o hindi...it's payback time.
9. Gusto ko nang makipagpeace sa world--para wala nang mabigat sa loob mo di ba?
10. Gusto kong mas maging mapagkumbaba sa kapwa--whether it's not being jealous or being contented with what I have...kasama na din yun don.
11. Gusto kong makipag-date kay God palagi. Miss ko na kasi Siyang ka-bonding.
12. Gusto ko nang iwan ang masasamang gawi ko. Kaso I have to enumerate pa e...
13. Gusto kong maging mas considerate sa ibang bloggers. Yung iba, me time para sa bloghops kahit hectic, tapos ako...ayoko nang sabihin--sisisihin ko nananaman sarili ko niyan e.
14. Gusto kong maging less vocal kapag grades and school ang pag-uusapan. Mas mabuti nang manahimik sa nakuhang uno para walang gulo--oops.
15. Gusto kong makabonding ang mga pinsan ko. I live within their bounderies tapos di ko kayang makisama--sama ko talaga.
16. Gusto kong manahimik na lang kapag inaaway (or pinagsasabihan rather) ako ng parents ko.
17. Gusto kong i-declutter ang marumi kong cabinet--closet ko kasi, parang di taga-21st century yung may ari e. Parang kapanahunan pa ni Da Vinci. Biro lang siyempre (ang exagge ko naman).
18. Gusto kong mag-express, rather than impress...mapapahiya lang ako kapag nagpa-impress kasi ako e.
Yan...nabuo ko na. Now all I have to do, is just follow the list...and get a good life ahead of me. It's really hard being a teenager. Everybody knows that. Pray lang ako for guidance.
your love is like a shadow at 4:24 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together
0 said we can't be wrong together
Friday, August 11, 2006
I'm back!
Guys! Buhay pa ako! I'm back! Hey...musta ka kayo? Miss you all! College gave me a toast of what they call: SWEET TORTURE. Kakapagod pala mag-aral kapag tinututukan mo yung subject. After the midterm exams, I promised myself to be more religious in studying. I have to manage my time as a University varsity in Taekwondo and a hardworking IT student. I have to make most of my potentials. That's what I'm always thinking coz that's what is driving me to strive hard.
Before I get to my main topic, update muna sa crushes...hehe. Kita niyo yung guy diyan sa pic? Gusto kong ligawan yan...adik ako sa kanya sobra! hehe...guys...pag me alam kayo na fansite niya, paki-refer sa kin ha?? Salamat. His smile just drives me N.U.T.S. di ko mapigilan sarili ko!
So anyway:
Applying in the school's varsity team wasn't easy. You had to qualify for the tryouts and spar with a black belter. Then when you're in the team, you have to make major adjustments. Practices start from 5pm-7pm...but it was okay though. Coz my Bhouse is just a block away from school and I'm with a friend.
Few days ago, I tortured myself. I slept from 9pm-12am then be awake until 3am or worse...4am. It wasn't hard when you want something. I wanted this...I wanted to give recognition to myself somehow. Kasi puro nalang ako bulakbol then. I didn't have a chance to prioritize and give extra effort on my studies when I was in high school, I was a slow-poke when it comes to learning. I have fought serious battles in the academic world and manage to crawl back even though I was partially...let's say...dropped to the ground. My parents even felt bad when I graduated as the lone sports awardee. My mom was once a valedictorian from the same school where I graduated. So for her...it was maybe an insult. And I will never forget how I made her so frustrated. I myself felt bad. But what can I do? I love the sport...
Now, I'm done with the first half of the semester...next week, it'll be back to business. I'll be back to pressing my nose against the piles of notes. And I promised myself to try just one more time...and if I fail? Well, maybe another try won't hurt a bit...
At guys...may nakuha na akong mga links ng official site ni Kim Jae Won:
http://cafe.daum.net/kimjaewon0218/
your love is like a shadow at 4:31 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together
0 said we can't be wrong together
